


Aim for the Head

by hobbit_hedgehog



Series: Creature Feature in Night Vale [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe- Zombies, Humor, M/M, Night of the Living Dead, This was going to be scary and then I thought nah, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2486363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobbit_hedgehog/pseuds/hobbit_hedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil and Carlos's date night is interrupted by some surprise visitors</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aim for the Head

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the third part of my Creature Feature in Night Vale challenge. This one is based off of Creature Feature's song "Aim for the Head" off of the album "The Greatest Show Unearthed". This song is based off of George A. Romero's "The Night of the Living Dead". This one is a bit different from the first two in that I was going to make it scary and then I thought, "No, this is more Night Vale". So, enjoy!

It was Carlos’s turn for movie night and he had gone all out to ensure that Cecil would enjoy himself. The two met at the radio station after Cecil’s show and Carlos drove Cecil back to his apartment. After a quick dinner, the two settled on the couch and Carlos picked up the remote.

“So, what’s on the playbill for tonight?” Cecil asked as he curled up next to Carlos with his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Well, I thought that it’d be a good idea to watch a classic horror film,” Carlos replied, hitting the play button on the remote.

“A horror film? Which one?” Cecil questioned.

“George A. Romero’s _Night of the Living Dead_ ,” Carlos said, the film starting on the small TV.

“Never heard of it,” Cecil murmured as a car slowly drove up a road to a cemetery.

“Just wait,” Carlos muttered, rubbing Cecil’s shoulder. “It’s gonna get good.”

~~

The couple was about halfway through the movie when there came a pounding at the door. Cecil looked up from his place in Carlos’s lap, eyebrow raised.

“Expecting someone?” Cecil asked as he sat up and stretched.

“No actually,” Carlos responded with a frown.

“CARLOS,” Rochelle called from the other side of the door. “You need to let us in! There’s a situation going on and you need to let us in right now!”

Cecil and Carlos both scrambled to their feet, the movie forgotten. Carlos ran to the door and wrenched it open. Carlos’s team of scientists, lead by Rochelle and Dave, collapsed into the room. The group clambered back to their feet and slammed the door shut. The group braced themselves against the door, clicking the deadbolt into place.

“Do you guys mind telling me what’s going on?” Carlos asked. “We were kind of in the middle of something.”

“Something being a date,” Cecil interjected, looking pointedly at Carlos.

“We were in the lab,” Rochelle said.

“Going over some tests,” Dave continued.

“When all of a sudden,” Jeanette supplied.

“We heard some banging on the door to the lab,” Rochelle interjected.

“So we played a quick game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Hooded Figure, Void to see who would be the one to answer the door because we were all kind of busy and none of us wanted to open the door, but we couldn’t just ignore it,” Dave rambled, looking pale.

“Ok, ok, I get it. Get to the point,” Carlos muttered, annoyed.

“Right, sorry. So, I ended up being the one to answer the door and when I did, there were zombies everywhere!” Rochelle shouted.

A silence descended among the humans in the room, the small TV being the only source of noise for a few minutes. Cecil looked uncomfortable, seemingly trying to find the right words of response. Carlos looked incredulous, trying to figure out if his scientists were being serious or not.

“ _Consistent reports from witnesses to the effect that people who acted as if they were in a kind of trance were killing and eating their victims prompted authorities to examine the bodies of some of the victims. Medical authorities in Cumberland have concluded that in all cases, the killers are eating the flesh of the people they murder. And so this incredible story becomes more ghastly with each report. It's difficult to imagine such a thing actually happening, but these are the reports we have been receiving and passing on to you, reports which have been verified as completely as is possible in this confused situation_ ,” The reporter in the still playing movie said.

“Are you guys being 100% serious with me?” Carlos asked, his voice small.

“Carlos, we’re not joking,” Rochelle snapped as there came a shuffling sound from the hallway. The group froze as Rochelle mouthed, “I told you so” to Carlos.

“I really don’t think,” Cecil began, but was interrupted by Carlos.

“Ok, we need objects that can be used to destroy the brain. Blunt, sharp, doesn’t matter. Arm yourselves with kitchen appliances. Aim for the head,” Carlos said, running around the apartment looking for things he could use to barricade the door.

“I really don’t think we need to be making a big deal out of this,” Cecil said, shifting as one of the scientists brushed past him.

“Cecil, there are actual zombies out there that will most likely attack us and eat our brains. It’s kind of a big deal,” Carlos replied, handing his boyfriend a chair. “Can you go put this against the door?”

Cecil sighed, taking the chair from Carlos, “I just don’t understand why we had to interrupt our date night for this.”

Carlos gave his boyfriend a guilty, apologetic look before pressing a quick kiss to Cecil’s cheek. “I am sorry Cecil. But it is for our safety. We won’t end up like the people in the movie. We can make it through this.”

Cecil frowned, placing the chair in front of the door. As he did so, something slammed against the wood, filling the apartment with a loud bang. The scientists jumped and Carlos surged forward, grabbing Cecil by the arm and dragging him away from the door. He pressed a cooking knife into Cecil’s hand and turned to face the door.

“Cecil, you should find some place to hide,” Carlos muttered.

“Please tell me that you’re joking,” Cecil responded as the door was slammed into once more.

“I’m serious Cecil. You should hide and save yourself if you can,” Carlos said, turning to look at Cecil.

“Oh for the love of- move,” Cecil demanded, thoroughly annoyed. 

Cecil dropped the knife and pushed Carlos aside before striding over to the door. He pushed the chair aside and unlocked the door. The scientists gave a collective shout of protest that Cecil ignored as he pulled the door open. Standing in the hallway was a group of four zombies wearing identical fluorescent pink T-shirts.

“Hello there,” Cecil greeted the group. “How can I help you this evening?”

“We… Undead… Rights… Coalition... ” the first zombie said. “We… Here… Looking… Donations…”

“Donations?” Carlos asked, lowering his baseball bat.

“Donations… Signatures…” the second zombie chimed in as it jerkily raised a clipboard while a third raised a donation box.

“With… Help… U… R… C… helps… Protect… Rights… Undead… Everywhere…” The first zombie continued.

“Well, seems like a good cause to me,” Cecil replied, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “What’s the suggested donation?”

“Five… Dollars…” The fourth zombie said.

“Seems reasonable to me,” Cecil said. “How about I give you guys $20? $5 for each of you.”

“Very… Kind… Sir…” the third zombie droned as Cecil dropped a $20 bill into the donation box before taking the clipboard and signing it with his blood.

“Anyone else?” Cecil called over his shoulder, giving the collected group a disapproving glance as he did.

The scientists shook their heads, breaking their stares as they scrambled for their wallets. They each dropped $10 into the donation box and wrote their names on the clipboard using their various not-pen constructions. Cecil watched as Carlos finished signing his name before turning back to the zombies.

“We’re really sorry that it took so long to answer the door. Good luck with your campaign! I’ll be sure to mention it on the show tomorrow night.”

“Thank… You… For… Generosity…” The first zombie said as it staggered off with his companions. “Have… Wonderful… Evening…”

“You as well,” Cecil called before shutting the door and turning on the scientists. They all stared at Cecil for a moment before Cecil said, “See? I told you that you all were overreacting. You’ve all been watching too many anti-zombie propaganda movies.”


End file.
